Not the afternoon I'd planned

It was one of those glorious Autumn afternoons on Sunday so we decided to have a late brunch sitting in a corner of the garden that is a real suntrap.

I'm sipping my coffee in a post-bacon-and-egg haze, and contemplating a doze under the Sunday papers, when I hear a "sploosh". The kind of sploosh that sounds like a bucket of water being thrown. Being otherwise occupied with dealing with my full tummy, my brain took a little while to register what it had heard. I looked at Himself and said rather lazily

"That didn't sound good"

"No"

"I'd better go and have a look"

"Yes"

So I sauntered into the cottage to be greeted by a stream, nay a veritable river, of water pouring out of the kitchen door. The post-bacon-and-egg haze rapidly disappeared to be replaced by fast-thinking and action! Splashed over the the machine and turned it off, yelled for Himself to come and help. Which he does. Slowly, as he thinks I'm exaggerating.

I'm not. There is water pouring out of every available oriface of the washing machine. Apart from the oriface at the back of the machine out of which water should be pouring.

Dilemma. The machine obviously can’t drain any water but it is full of water and too heavy to move. We have no option but to crack open the door and try to catch as much water as we can in a bucket. It works, after a fashion, but not without adding to the pool of water on the kitchen floor. We then manhandle the machine outside to get a better look as it's obviously blocked somewhere.

"Well, it's not working is it so we've nothing to lose by taking that bit off and seeing if we can unblock it" says I.

So he removes that bit of the machine. Nothing happens and we scratch our heads and then remove something else.

Ahhh. That'll be the problem then. The filter's blocked.

The problem is with the chenille throws I bought for the sofas in the cottage. They are supposed to be dry-clean only. Well bugger that when you've variously got three or four dogs about the place. You can't be doing with dry clean only so everything goes in the machine regardless of what it says on the label. I've got away with it up to now but this time it's come back and bitten me on the bum, so to speak, and the throws have shed all their chenille inside the washing machine.

One washed filter and several buckets of water later the machine is as good as new and my kitchen floor is lovely and clean! Every cloud has a silver lining as they say.

So there I was.......

.....swanking around the supermarket in my Cats.

I love my Caterpillar jeans. They fit. Like jeans should fit. Boot cut and tight. Holding everything in place where it should be.

I feel good in my Cats so I swanked a lot.

When I got back to the car I realised I'd been doing all that swanking with my flies undone.

Kitchen tiles. Or not as the case may be.

How difficult can it be to choose kitchen tiles?

Let me tell you. Very difficult.

The kitchen was installed last Christmas and still requires some finishing touches, none of which can be done until I've decided what tiles I want on the walls. I thought I knew. Black. I had a picture in my mind before the kitchen went in and it would look perfect. Then once the kitchen went in I realised that, actually, black tiles would over-balance the kitchen and make it top heavy.

So back to light colored tiles then. But with cream units and cream walls, I needed to make sure we didn't go the other way and go too bland.

I have looked and searched and given up so many times I've lost count. The matter is not helped by the work surface I have. I love it but it's black with cream and silvery and gold bits in it. And shiny. Nothing quite goes with it.

Then on Saturday one of my friends dragged me kicking and screaming to a different tile shop. I immediately fell in love with a natural stone tile in a dark cream/brown colour.

Perfect!

Not in stock for three weeks!

Bugger!

And the delay has, unfortunately, given me time to think about it again and I don't think they'll go. Natural stone and a shiny work surface? Nope.

Cancel tiles.

I'm now going for wood. OK, it's not quite wood but some sort of MDF that is made to look like tongue and groove. A colleague has just put it in his kitchen and it looks really good. I figured it would be cheaper to start with that and live with it for a while and, if I find I don't like it, I can go with tiles again in the future.

I'm sure having the cottage almost but not quite finished is not helping my state of mind at the moment either. It's so frustrating when there are silly little things to be done, which I can't do so I have to rely on himself to do them. And I hate that.

Skiving? No sir, not me sir.

I have decided I'm going out this afternoon to take some stock photographs of the Common.

Yes I know the sun is shining and it's a lovely Autumn afternoon.

Yes I know I'll be trying out my new camera.

But I need the photographs so it's definitely work. Not skiving at all. No sirreee.

When I was a child, I was fascinated by supermarket check-outs.

Well they weren't really "supermarkets" in those days, they were still on the high street for a start and they only sold groceries. Each item was individually priced up with a little sticker and the check-out girls, for they invariably were girls then, tip-tapped the prices in to the glorified adding machines that passed for tills.

Then came bar codes and scanning and a succession of "beep, beep, beep, beeps" and my fascination deepened.

I can't begin to explain this. I never aspired to be a check-out girl and it wasn't the job itself. There was just something in the tip-tapping and the rhythmic sweeping of items past the till that just caught hold of something in my brain. I'm not sure if I thought these were "very important people" but it always struck my five year old mind that it was a position of great responsibilty and, well, it looked like fun. And I always wanted to at leas try it

Life moved on but I have never entirely lost that fascination, or rather, I have never entirely lost the memory of that fascination. So imagine my delight when my local supermarket installed self-service check-outs, complete with your own bleeping scanner.

And now I've tried it, I know it's not actually that much fun. In fact, it's rather tedious and I now always make a beeline for a manned till. I can't imagine what my five-year old self was so enthralled by. Which is rather sad really, I always used to smile at that memory and it feels sort of dashed by reality now.

Some things really should be left alone.

A ramble through my confused meanderings

The title should be enough to give you a clue to my state of mind at the moment.

Despite, or even, in spite, of the fact that I blog, I am basically a very private person. Yes I have let slip what some would consider to be private matters fromtime to time but they've tended to be surface stuff. I don't intend to start revealing my deeper feelings to you all just yet, although it would probably do me good. But I do need to get some things down in black and white.

There are times when you need to get things off your chest. I have good friends I can talk to but the problem I have at the moment is that I am struggling to come to terms with what I'm really feeling. By saying it out loud I will have admitted it. And then there will be no turning back.

So right now I find myself in something of a downward spiral. I've shut myself off emotionally and seem to have stopped functioning as a caring human being. Instead I seem to be just existing, finding distraction in inconsequential or routine things so that I don't have to think. I find myself being short of temper and snappy and unable to cope with anyone not doing things in the "right" way. I don't speak to people so they can't hear the insincerity in my voice. I know that deep down I do care, I just can't quite plumb those depths at the moment.

This isn't a plea for sympathy - that would really be something I couldn't cope with at the moment. It's more an acknowledgement of my state of mind so that I can perhaps try to move myself up and out of this and do what I know I need to but won't admit.

But perhaps not just yet.

Well that was embarrassing

I would like to think that I don't get starstruck when faced with a celebrity, even a minor one, but today I excelled myself.

A lady came into the office on Friday to discuss some business-related stuff. She was really lovely and chatty and at the time I thought I had met her before but just couldn't place where: it might have been just walking dogs on the Common or something through my work with Greyhound Gap.

Thinking it might have been the latter and it would have been rude of me not to acknowledge the fact, I mentioned it to her when she rang this morning. We chit-chatted and giggled about our joint lack of organisation skills for a while and then I said:

"I'm sure we've met before but I can't place where"

In a quiet little voice, she replied "Oh, I do some stuff on the telly"

I was mortified. How could I have possibly been so crass!? I apologised profusely and she took it in very good spirit and said it happened all the time. She even invited me round for a cup of tea!

A lovely lady!

I'm still embarrassed though.

My Day. His Day

My Day

6.45 - Alarm goes off. Get up. Find glasses. Fend off all resident dogs to whom a few hours is a lifetime and who must all greet me as a long lost relative.
06.50 - Clear up water spilt on bedside table by over-enthusiastic hounds
06.55 - Shower. Dry hair. Get dressed.
7.20 - Take all resident dogs for a walk.
8.15 - Find dog bowls and rid them of snails that have partied in them all night. Get dogs breakfasts ready. Make OH's trough box. Make my breakfast. Get Ruby the Foster's lunch soaking (no teeth!). Get The Lurchers' dinner out of freezer. Decide what the humans are having for dinner - get it out of freezer.
8.35 - Grab a coffee and cigarette.
8.40 - Feed all resident dogs. Stand around to prevent scrap starting.
8.55 - Cycle to work
9.00 - Get to work. Work all morning

1300 - Get home and walk resident dogs
13.20 - Grab some lunch for me
13.40 - Feed Ruby. Stand around and stop The Lurchers sulking as they don't get lunch.
13.45 - Get Ruby's dinner soaking.
13.55 - Cycle back to work
14.00 - Get to work. Work all afternoon

17.15 - Get home from work. Walk all resident dogs.
18.15 - Find dog bowls and rid them of snails that have had a coffee morning in them. Get all resident dog's dinners ready.
18.30 - Sit down at computer for 1/2 hour.

19.00 - Start preparing our dinner.
19.30 - Feed all resident dogs. Stand around to prevent scrap starting.
20.00 - Get The Lurcher's breakfast out of freezer. Put Ruby's breakfast to soak.
20.30 - Eat our dinner
21.00 - Empty dishwasher. Load dishwasher. Transform kitchen from war-zone back to kitchen.
21.30 - Try to catch up on Greyhound Gap's mail.
22.00 - Transform lounge from war-zone back to lounge. Turn off all lights.
22.15 - Sit down at computer for half an hour.
22.45 - Go to bed. Read. Fall asleep with book open.

04.30 - Get up let all resident dogs out for a pee. No pee necessary but the garden is interesting at that time of the morning.
04.45 - Get up to let in resident dog that has been left outside.
05.00 - Fail to get back to sleep.
06.30 - Finally fall back to sleep
06.45 - Alarm goes off.

Find time somewhere to do washing/hoovering/shopping/etc etc

His Day

06.45 - Grumble at resident dogs who think he must be awake too.
06.50 - Disappear back under duvet.
07.30 - Get up and stagger to kitchen to put kettle on.
07.35 - Sit at table. Drink coffee. Smoke cigarette. Do crossword.
07.50 - drink more coffee.
08.15 - drink more coffee.
08.45 - Grab trough box. Get in car. Go to work.

Work all day, stopping for periodic coffee and cigarette breaks.

18.00 - Get home.
18.05 - Grab a beer and decamp to lounge to watch Rugby World Cup.
20.30 - Eat dinner.
21.30 - Shower.
21.45 - Go to bed. Read.
22.30 - Fall asleep.

I'm coming back as a man or a dog in my next life.

How to confuse a flat-coat retriever......

.....have two tennis balls. Poor Henry, he really is the sweetest dog on the planet but he is severely lacking in the brain cell department.

We have guests. One of my colleagues is away and the chap who usually looks after his two dogs is also away. Some months ago I vaguely offered to look after Albert (a Retriever) and Henry (the Flat Coat) if it was ever needed. Seems my offer was taken seriously and here they are.

The Cottage is really quite small but it's surprising that having five dogs here doesn't seem to make the place that crowded. Yet when we lived at The Flat, which was twice the size, even three dogs seemed way too many. Himself wasn't too impressed when I mentioned this to him last night. He could see where I was going with that statement and only grunted in that "I'm not hearing you" sort of way.

Foiled again.

Cameras bought. Cameras sold.

I've had my Pentax ist DL2 for just over a year now and I've really enjoyed using it. A few weeks ago I decided to get a new zoom lens for it. I have a 50-200mm zoom already but wanted one that went up to 300mm. You can pick them up for a reasonable price but I had been advised to get one with IS or VR (which means that the lens is stabilised helping to reduce camera shake with a bigger, heavier lens). It seems such a thing doesn't exist for the Pentax.

Someone at the time suggested that rather than keep buying kit for the Pentax, I upgrade to a Nikon or a Canon as it's much easier to buy accessories and lenses. I pooh-poohed the idea at the time as I simply couldn't afford to start splashing out the best part of a grand for new kit.

Then someone advertised a second-hand Nikon D70 on Pixalo, the photography forum I use, at a very reasonable price. What put the tin hat on it was that of all the places this guy could live in the world, he lived about 20 minutes away from me. And I was due to be 5 minutes away from him on Saturday to do a homecheck for Greyhound Gap.

Seems fate has a way of stepping in sometimes. So I am now the proud owner of a Nikon D70 with a classy 18-70mm kit lens to boot!

Then a young student on the Forum started asking about a film SLR which he needed for his course. I have an old Canon AE1 which has been sitting doing nothing for more years than I care to remember. So he popped round yesterday, loved it and bought it!

But what is it about the young that they can come out with what they obviously see as nothing more than a statement of fact but have absolutely no idea that it will just cut you off at the knees? I was explaining that I'd bought this old camera at least 18 years ago. "Oh" he said. "That was before I was born."

I crumpled on the spot.

Brrrr.....

There is a definite Autumnal nip to the air this morning. How did we get to Autumn already?

Time is moving way to damn quickly for my liking.

I may be gone sometime

I appear to have discovered facebook.

The Rugby World Cup. A Girl's Eye View.

I shall leave the technical stuff to the men but, suffice to say, before anyone mocks me, I do love the game and I do almost understand the rules!

However, I am going to pick my alternative man of the match. Tonight's choice is Sebastien Chabal. French unfortunately but you can't have everything. Sébastien Chabal (born December 8 1977 in Valence, raised in Beauvallon is a French rugby union footballer who plays at number 8 in the back row of the scrum for Sale Sharks and France, and has also played as a lock for France. He is well known for not shaving and his very long hair, leading to French rugby fans nicknaming him "l'Homme des Cavernes" - the Caveman.

He is also famous for a number of eccentric moments in his rugby career. One includes missing a tackle on an opponent and tackling the linesman instead.

I can't find a picture that does justice to the moody and nonchalant way he walked onto the pitch in France's match against Argentina tonight but it fair took my breath away.

Have him stripped and sent to my room!

You are now entering the Twilight Zone......

....courtesy of those dear people at Amazon who sent me this e-mail.....

"We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated books by Karen Pryor have also purchased The Mutt Book: Decoding Your Mutt's Heritage by Bruce Fogle. For this reason, you might like to know that The Mutt Book: Decoding Your Mutt's Heritage will be released on 10 September 2007."

I've always wanted to try time travel.

Got a puncture?

Then buy a new bike. Which is what I did last night.

A little extravagant perhaps but having had two punctures in as many days in the same tyre, it occurred to me to check the wheel - a broken spoke appears to be the culprit. A new wheel would probably have done the job but my bike is getting on a bit now and is a bit of a boneshaker. The brakes needed replacing, the saddle was falling apart and as I've not really looked after the bike properly, it didn't really look t its best anymore.

So I took myself off to Halfords last night to purchase a new one. I was in a bit of a hurry as I had to get back to meet my car mechanic to get my MOT sorted out, so I grabbed an assistant and said "I want a new bike. Mountain bike-ish but I only do about 4 miles a day on a gravel track so it doesn't have to be expensive. I don't want pink or lilac (as most of the ladies' bikes in my price range seemed to be) and this must fit it" waving my basket bracket in his face.

So he grabbed a mens' bike, said "try that". I did. It was great. I paid for it. He put it in the car. I was home again within 30 minutes.

A most satisfactory shopping trip and I feel quite giddy with excitement - which tells you something about the state of my life doesn't it?

Ruby Rooooooo!

My latest foster, and my first greyhound, arrived yesterday. Ruby is a 6 year old ex-racer and , unfortunately her teeth were left to rot causing such an infection that when she came into Greyhound Gap's care, she had to have 31 of her 42 teeth removed, as well as part of her jaw, as the infection had spread.

She smiles, she likes to be sung to..."Rooooooooby Roooooooooo", she groans, her tongue lolls out of the side of her mouth because she doesn't have the teeth to keep it where it should be, she grates what teeth she does have left and she drools. But she is the sweetest, funniest greyhound I have ever met and she is so going to be someone's heart dog. Lisa thinks she'll stay. Hah!

I asn't found the sofa yet


Now I ' as!




And Lurcher No. 2....just because!

Having fun with the camera

I mentioned in my last blog that whilst we were at the Two-Day Event over the weekend, my pal Ali and I took the opportunity to take some photos of the show-jumping and the cross-country course with our respective cameras. These are a few of the shots that I took and of which I am inordinately proud, particularly as I forgot to take my zoom lens and had to make the best of the standard 18-55mm lens that I had with me!

Another "conversation" blog

Went to a Two-Day Event and Country Fair this weekend. Ostensibly to raise funds for Greyhound Gap, but a little fun was had with the camera whilst there (more of that tomorrow). Sunday involved some lurcher and terrier racing so there was quite a lot of hounds to snog. Which was nice.

Lurchers come in all sizes, colours and degrees of hairiness, depending on their breeding. A lurcher will usually have a greyhound as one parent with a pastoral or terrier type as the other. A second-cross lurcher will have a lurcher as both parents. Yes, mongrels but mongrels that are a recognised "type". Yesterday a lady approached our stall with several lurchers that I had not seen the like of before. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Ooooh....they are beautiful! They look like a cross between a Whippet and a Borzoi" (remember I said that. It's important).

Lady, in that manner that dog-breeders reserve for someone who has just asked them what cross their very expensive pedigree pooch is: "Oh no, these are Silken Windhounds"

Me, having been momentarily lost for words: "Gosh"

So we got chatting and it turns out these Silken Windhounds are a newly recognised breed. In Slovenia.

Me: "So if they are a newly recognised breed, what is their history as I presume there is sighthound in there somewhere?"

Lady: "Oh yes, Whippet and Borzoi"

Umm....right. Didn't I say......? Obviously not the same thing at all. Silly me.

Anyway, they were stunning....even if a little odd choice of cross if you ask me. They are a little bigger than your average Whippet but with the beautiful curly silky coat of a Borzoi. This be them:

Out of proportion

The conversation tonight went something like this:

Me: "I really do not feel like cooking tonight"

OH: "Let's have fish and chips then"

Me: "Good idea"

OH: "What do you want? Fish, chips and curry sauce?"

Me: "Yes please"

I know it's naff but there is something about chip shop curry sauce that just sets fish and chips off just right.

OH: "Spring Roll?"

Me: "No, hold the spring roll. I'm not that hungry"

OH disappears off the chip shop and duly returns.

Me: "Where's my curry sauce?"

OH: "You said you didn't want any!"

Why is it that when you don't feel well, the smallest, inconsequential, thing can set off a major pissy fit?

Walk away from the computer

This morning you were going to get vitriolic blog about selfish men and idiotic people.

Instead, I stopped blogging and walked away from the keyboard. I poured myself a large, strong coffee, took some more Nurofen and Sudafed, and waited until I felt better. Now the headache has subsided and I don't feel quite so snappish, it's probably safe for me to venture out again. As long as no-one pushes their luck. But I'm not making any promises.

Nothing quite like a cold for making you lose patience with things you'd normally brush off.

Men can still be bloody selfish though.........

Anyway, in order to try and be a bit brighter and more cheerful, and to put myself in a more positive frame of mind, I thought I'd share three beautiful things - as suggested by flowerpot days on her blog:

My dogs - what more can I say? They make me laugh, make me cry, frighten me half to death sometimes but give me more joy than I can possibly express in words. They cuddle with me when I'm miserable, laugh with me when I'm happy and remind me that life should be lived for the moment.

Climbing into a bed made with freshly laundered linen, especially after a shower. Bliss!

A book in which you can lose yourself for hours and hours.

Do join in if you'd like!

I am not well.

It's official. I am a poorly bunny today. So poorly that OH was asked to walk The Lurchers this morning. I'm that poorly. Nothing to do with the fact that it's howling a gale and peeing down. Oh no. I am poorly.

I felt lousy last night with an aching throat and head. Lisa suggested it was just a release of stress after yesterday. I was inclined to think she was right and that a good night's sleep would put me right. Except I still feel lousy this morning, with blocked sinuses and the waves of dizziness that go with them to boot. I shall be brave and noble and make my way to work, in the vain hope they'll send me home again, even if only to stop the noise of my groans and sniffles from echoing around the office.

Not sure going on the bike is a good idea though. Dizziness and howling gales are probably not conducive to safe cycling.

And why, in the middle of August, is it howling a gale and peeing down? It's not right I tell you, it's not right.

Ho Hum. With emphasis on the hum.

We went camping this weekend. The annual clan camping trip.

I forgot to pack half the things I needed. Mugs are always useful to drink coffee out of don't you think?

Lurcher No.1 was stung by a bee on her gum on Friday evening. Much swelling. Much panicking when I realise that I don't have a phone number for a local vet, much less than that, I don't even know where the local vet is. Won't be going anywhere without that information again. Fortunately she was fine but I'd have been stymied if she had had an anaphylactic reaction.

Saturday afternoon it started to rain. That drizzly, damp, pervasive rain. And it stayed that way for just about all of the rest of the weekend. We braved the elements to have a BBQ and a bonfire once it got dark. But we had fun nonetheless.

Onto the humming. When we got home, I realised I'd forgotten to take something else with me. The meat I'd been defrosting for The Lurcher's supper on Friday night. It absolutely stunk! Nothing leaves a pervasive hum quite like rotten meat. Eewwww

Dakota, thank you for your comment on my last blog. I've had so many people wishing me well for today that I've been quite overwhelmed! I do know some lovely people! The scan went fine and the lady doing the scan was almost 100% sure that it was just a lymph node. It was just a pea-shaped lump and there didn't appear to be any irregularities in it's shape nor were there any blood vessels in it...both of which would be expected if it was cancerous. I'll know for definite when I go back to the clinic in a few weeks but, for now, cue a very large sigh of relief!

Pretty in Pink

OH has gone to his niece's 18th Birthday party this afternoon. The theme of the party is "Pink".

Most ordinary people would wear something pink. OH's ordinary side has done that - pink t-shirt and pink cowboy hat. His not so ordinary side has dyed pink the white in his beard. He kept meaning to try it and make sure it would washout but he never got round to it.

Tomorrow morning could be fun!


In other news.....

Life has been a mad whirl of waking up, walking hounds, going to work, walking hounds, going to sleep, waking up, walking hounds......with the odd visit to the vet in between.

Poor Wesley Presley has been through the mill a bit over the last few weeks. New home, straight in to the vets for de-nadding and two warts removed, back for check-up, back again for stitches out, microchipping and vaccinations, back again because he developed a reaction to the internal stitches and developed a small egg-sized lump. Then he goes back again on Tuesday for second vaccinations. The good news is that I think we have a lovely home lined up for him with a couple who live near me and who already have a beautiful 3-year old whippet. I'm going to miss this boy. A lot.

And we're already planning the next possible foster! Who said it was addictive....?

It's all a bit crappy really. PartTwo.

Details of "It's all a Bit Crappy Really" Part One here.

This time it's the turn of St George's hospital where I went yesterday for my regular check-up. Bloods were fine so that was good. Not so good is the small, pea-size lump I have noticed developing on the side of my neck. I had expected them to tell me it was normal and not to be concerned. Instead they whipped me down the corridor to make an appointment for an ultrasound.

It's probably absolutely nothing more than a slightly enlarged lymph node, which could be enlarged for a variety of reasons and much more likely to be from a harmless infection than to cancer.

But I can't but help be a bit concerned. This is the second scare in a year so please excuse me if I spend a day or two wallowing before putting it to the back of my mind before the scan on 21st August.

Stuff

Presley has arrived and he's a babe! A very big whippet, standing at almost 23" compared to the maximum for the breed standard of 20". Strong too. Had me off my feet and on my arse when he decided to launch himself at an entire black lab. Not keen on entire male dogs is our Presley.





















My BT hub appears to have given up the ghost following the storms last Friday. I have no idea if the storms caused the problem or it's just coincidence. It's telling me it has broadband but can't seem to transfer data. What's concerning me is that when I plugged in my old router, it wouldn't recognise the ethernet cable - and I have no idea what to do if it's a computer problem. Hey ho.

And I can't access Stu's blog. Anyone else have a problem or is it just me?

Just like buses.....

....nothing to blog about for ages and then two come along at once. So here they are:

1. Hornets - nasty things. One flew in the kitchen the other night and it was like a scene from a scary movie. I was loading the dishwasher and heard this noise, something between a growl and a buzz, behind me. Looked round, nothing. Turned back to the dishwasher, the noise came again. Looked around, nothing. And on it went until this bloody great big one flew into view. OH was sitting outside last night and realised there were a lot more of the buggers flying in and out of the chimney. Pest control called and they should be out tomorrow.

2. I almost dare not tell you this in case it goes pear-shaped again but my next foster is arriving on Sunday. Another entire Whippet boy, 9 years old, whose owner has had to move from the country to the town. The dog is finding it difficult to adjust to town life and is starting to get depressed and snappy. I can understand that. He's used to running around on a Common - hence why he's coming to me seeing as how I live in the middle of one. We might have a problem with his name though. I can imagine I will become the butt of many jokes by the regular dog-walkers when I start shouting for "Presley".
   

No blog.

Not really been in the mood. Sorry 'bout that.

Change of plan. Again

I really should remember not to blog about things that are going to happen, because in the world of dog rescue, things never quite go according to plan.

Lily is still going off to her new home but Bruno is no longer coming into Greyhound Gap's care. It's a long story but his owner doesn't want to part with him without trying everything so he's booked him in to be castrated next week and will take it from there.

Finger's crossed it all works out for them.

One out. One in.

Lily our Foster-Lurcher is definitely off to her new family on Satuday morning. I'll be dropping her off and seeing her settled in and then I'm off to Dover to pick up my next foster.

Meet Bruno
















Bruno is a 6 year old whippet whose owner can no longer keep him. Apparently he can be quite assertive (in the way only itty-bitty Whippets can) and dominant.

Soon sort that out when we get his balls chopped off next week.

The world has gone mad

Go have a read of this blog Cold Wet Nose (start at the bottom to get the full story) and tell me that this isn't a complete waste of police time, energy and resources?

I'm not saying that the alleged crime isn't serious because it is but this really is just mental.

Two down........

Lily the Foster Lurcher and Lurcher No.1 both have kennel cough.

That leaves Lurcher No.2. We don't want him to get kennel cough because he will have man-kennel cough. And that won't be good.

OK girls......

...and boys too if you wish! For no reason other than I'm bored and fancy being a bit mindless let's find out which celebrity sets your spine a-tingling and your knees a-weakening.

So, apart from my lawyer, here's my selection

Mark Harmon (Special Agent Jethro Gibbs, NCIS). Oh yes. Have him stripped and sent to my room.



























Anthony LaPaglia (Jack Malone, Without a Trace) Go figure, I haven't quite worked out why either.



























Sean Connery. What can I say. Just class.





















And for sheer boyish good looks, George Eads (Nick Stokes, CSI)



























So off you go, consider yourselves tagged!

FREE Photo Booklet worth £5.99

Used this kind of offer before & booklets are very good. Just needs an email address to get an unique promotion code.

read more | digg story


No I haven't been spammed, this is a special offer being well...offered by the peeps over at Pixalo and a very good offer it is too! Full details here.

Change of plans

Well, there's been a slight change in plan.

Lily started a cough last week and we got her checked out by the vet who felt it wasn't kennel cough, no heart murmur and her lungs were clear. He thought that it likely she just had a scratch on her throat that was irritating her. Friday she was absolutely fine so we made all the arrangements and then, with the impeccable timing of a Greyhound Gap hound, she started coughing again on Saturday morning.

As her new housemate isn't in 100% health, it's been agreed with her new family that she will stay here for this week so we can keep an eye on her in case it is a mild case of kennel cough as we don't want to put him at any risk.

Hopefully she will be fighting fit again and off to her new home next weekend.

That's dogs for you!

I will not cry.

Lily, my foster-Lurcher, is off to her forever home on Sunday.

I know she is going to be very happy with her new family, she's met them and made herself right at home when we went for the home visit and she got on really well with their lovely old lurcher boy, Mungo.

The first foster is always the hardest to let go, so I'm told. I have to remember that it's right for her. She relaxed more with them in an hour than she's ever done here. She's never been entirely comfortable around The Lurchers.

I shall miss her terribly.

Croak

I wandered into the kitchen without putting the light on.

In my stockinged feet* I almost stood on something.

Fortunately I stopped before putting my full weight on it.

I bent to pick it up.

It moved.

It was a toad**

Why is there a toad in my kitchen?


*What a lovely old-fashioned phrase that is!
** Stockinged feet. Toad. There has to be a joke in there.

I am fed up

I have tried to post an epic photo-blog of The Lurchers and have failed miserably because Blogger keeps messing with my layout and leaving gaping holes all through the blog or puts text in the wrong place.

So I have thrown my toys out of my pram and stormed off in a fit of pique.

You'll just have to make do with this small blog instead:

Blogs from the Dogs posted a thread about Lurcher talons and laid down a challenge to beat the length of theirs. Well, you be the judge, but I rather think Lurcher No.2 can ably meet the challenge!

Trudi Canavan up-date

Especially for Dakota and Sarah......

I've started reading the Age of The Five and it's not gripping me quite as much as the Black Magician - but then Black Magician is a lot to live up to so don't take that as a negative comment. It's still a very good read and I am enjoying it but it's taking me a little longer to warm to the main characters than it did Sonea. Alngside the main plot there is an undercurrent of devotion to gods warring with "alternative" healers (putting it into a modern context) which is going to be interesting as it plays out.

I think this might be a slightly darker series - there's a war looming with some nasty sounding characters - but I don't think you'll be sorry if you buy it!

Reading matter

It's not very often that I feel compelled to recommend an author or a particular set of books. Books are such a personal thing and what one person thinks is a book that should be read by the entire world population, another person thinks is fire fodder. And people read for many different reasons. Some to learn more of a subject or to better themselves intellectually, others for sheer escapism. Those that fall into the latter category will also be split into the different types of fiction.

That said, there is one book that should be read by the entire population and that is The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Possibly THE best book ever written.

But I digress as that's not the one I want to tell you about . I read for escapism so my taste lies in Science Fantasy, something I read almost exclusively, so if that's not a genre (what an up-your-backside word that is) that interests you, you might want to stop reading now!

I can frequently be found trawling through the virtual shelves that are Amazon looking for the latest by the authors that make it to my preferred list and, occasionally, I venture into the collection of books that Amazon recommends I might enjoy, given my previous purchases. Which, thinking about it, is a bit scary really. A bit of computer software is learning my tastes and preferences. But I'm digressing again.

One of the recommendations was Trudi Canavan and her Black Magician Trilogy. I bought the first, started reading and very quickly ordered the other two. It's classic Science Fantasy with magicians and and a young heroine from the slums made good in the world of magic. But there's something about the way Ms Canavan writes that grips you in from the first page and keeps you held there by the throat until you've finished. Much as I love reading, it takes something very special to make wake up early in the morning so I can pick up the book because I so desperately want to know what happens next.

So if Science Fantasy floats your boat, go buy them now!

My Daemon

Let's get another bandwagon on the roll!

HNT #1

Here's a question....

...should lawyers be considered sexy? And if not, why do I think mine is?

Do I need therapy?

(I'm speaking of the male variety on this occasion but feel free to consider the female variety as well if you're male.....or not, as the case may be. )

I am.....

...still alive and in one piece but very very busy, hence lack of recent bloggage. However, as I have now reached my target weight I am considering, just considering mind you, my first ever HNT featuring....drum roll please....the Playboy knickers!

Just don't hold your breath.

Oh, and Lurcher No.2 is broken again. He caught his first rabbit last night and as he twisted to catch it he hurt his leg. He opened his mouth to squeal and said bunny made a hasty departure quite unbelieving at his luck in being caught by the wimpiest lurcher around.

And for those of you easily offended, I don't usually allow The Lurchers to chase and terrorise small cute furry little bunnies but this one took the kamikaze decision to run out right in front of Lurcher No.2's nose as we cycled home. Game on I'm afraid.

It rained. Lots

So, Sunday was Greyhound Gap's Annual Fun Dog Show in Walsall.

It's our biggest fund-raising event of the year and Gap's supporters come from all over the country.

At 7am, the weather as we left London was atrocious. And it got worse as we headed up country.

At 9am Lisa, Gap's founder, called me and said we had to make a decision. Do we go ahead or do we cancel. I arrived there at 9.30am and, as most of the stalls had already set up, we decided to take a chance and go ahead.

At 11am, there was hardly anyone there and, with class registration about to start, things were looking dire.

At mid-day, the hundreds of complete and utter nutters wonderful people that support Gap had turned up in force and the day was in full swing! It did not stop raining all day and the occasional gusts of wind that blew across the ground resulted in several gazeebos being destroyed. And no-one seemed to care! Once everyone was wet, they couldn't get any wetter so just resigned themselves to it and got on and enjoyed themselves!

Gap could not do the work it does without the support of these people and we take our hats off to all of them for turning up regardless of the elements and helping us raise a staggering £3,000. Almost a £1,000 more than last year when the weather was reasonable!

We're thinking of ordering some "I was there" t-shirts!

Why do I do it?

Why do I buy myself new gadgets when I know I will never use them to their full potential and a cheaper, basic option would have done the job I need it to just as well? I'm sure it stems back to that time in life when you naively believe that "more expensive" must equal "better".

Take the other week. I spilt coffee all over my keyboard at work and, once it digested the coffee, it stopped working. So I head over to PC World's website and order myself a lovely shiny Microsoft Wireless Laser Keyboard 6000. Complete with a wireless Laser Mouse 6000.

It arrives and it's lovely. Except the ergonomically shaped keyboard seems to hinder my typing and I make far more spelling mistakes than usual. My fingers can't seem to move to the new key locations. Neither could I remove the "Reverse Slope Palm". So desperate did I become that I took my life in my hands and placed a call into Microsoft Support. It pains me to say that I was actually quite impressed with their help. Particularly as they didn't get totally exasperated with my seeming inability to understand American English and they resorted to sending me step by step photographs. Above and beyond I thought.

The keyboard has lots of buttons for you can store your favourite websites, access and use e-mail, Windows Live and order a large Latte with Double Espresso from your local Starbucks. And here I am two weeks later having reverted back to using Alt Tab and using the mouse and shortcuts on the screen, just like a I did before.

But as I thought I liked the keyboard so much I bought it's younger sister to use at home. I don't seem to have found the time to figure what all its buttons do, and I rather expect that I shall never quite get round to finding the time either. Neither do I like the mouse that came with that one so I have reverted to using my Wireless Trackball again. This leaves me with two wireless receivers that I know one day very soon are going to get into a fight with each other and leave me stranded keyboardless and mouseless.

Habit is an expensive habit.

Greyhound Gap Annual Fun Dog Show

It's the annual Greyhound Gap Fun Dog Show this coming Sunday at the Walsall Arboretum Annexe. That's in Walsall funnily enough.

So if you fancy a day out at a dog show, and help us raise some funds at the same time, it would be lovely to see you!

Found it!

The formicophilia reference was in this blog over two years ago.

You didn't really need to know that but, not unnaturally, I'd forgotten I'd posted that and re-reading it I had quite a chuckle. It's worth going on over for a look.

Eh!?

One of the widgets I have on my blog is Blog Patrol which gives me some stats about my blog and where people link into it from. It's not really important but I'm nosy and I like to know these things. One of the other things it gives me are the keywords that have led people to my blog from search engines.

Blog Patrol has been off-line for the last few months but has still been quietly beavering away in the background collecting the stats. It came back on line today so I logged in for a catch-up. Two of the three keyword searches might have been expected "common illnesses in lurchers" and "lurchers in need".

The third one threw me a bit.

"Formicophilia photographs"

Having no idea what Formicophilia was, I pootled over to Google. Well, that was an eye-opener. WHY would ANYONE get off on having snails, frogs and ants crawling on, and nibbling at, their genitals?

Just the thought is making my blood run cold.

And now I'm off to search my blog to find out what could possibly have led the search engines to my blog for that one.

Dream Dream Dream

This morning I had a rather *ahem* intimate dream about Robert Redford.

No idea where it came from or why it was him. He's not someone I've ever found remotely attractive, despite his film star looks. Obviously my sub-conscious knows something I don't.

She did...what!!??

It's been something of a week. And not just the fact that seven days have passed.

Lily the Lurcher has had one or two settling-in issues, for which Lurcher No.2 is still bearing the scars. Having been an only dog for almost 9 years, she's had a little trouble adapting to having two other lurchers around the place. If one of them so much as dared go past her at anything more than a sedate walk, she nailed them to the floor with her teeth. She's a feisty old boot! But she has gradually settled in and learnt to live with them in harmony or, at least, what passes for harmony in a three-lurcher household.

And then she surpassed herself.

The completion of the move from the flat to the cottage on the Bank Holiday Monday meant that the goldfish had finally arrived at Chez Lurcher. Unforunately, OH managed to drop the fishpond as he was moving it, leaving a crack down the side of it. Whilst it awaited repair, Fsh (for that was her name), was living in a temporary pond made out of a large enamel bowl with plants and bits and pieces in it to create hideaways for her. Except they weren't hideaway enough.

Lily had been showing way too much interest in Fsh for my liking - sticking her head straight in the pond up to her eyes with no thought for breathing and her ears perked forward rather too keenly keenly definitely falls into the "way too much interest" category. So I barricaded up the pond and surrounded it with plants and bits of wood and anything else I could lay my hands on, including my bike.

Thursday night I came home from work to find wood and pot plants everywhere but where they should be. And no Fsh in the pond.

Lily had eaten her.

Alive.

Expecting some sympathy from my fellow Gap colleagues, I was greeted with howling, hysterical laughter,with a little bit of sympathy chucked in for good measure. And a surfeit of fish jokes. And one clever person, who knows who she is because she reads this blog, with whom I had the following conversation:

"Cod that's awful. It's hake-ing the pee a bit that a floundering foster would do that. She probably only did it for the halibut, I mean everyone knows it's sole food, but even so it's better not to get into a roe about it and keep carping on like an old trout, so sprat'll do." Said she.

" 'eel be singing another tuna when I knock you off your perch!" I retorted

"I did think I was skate-ing on thin ice." She responded

And on it went in that tone.

Saturday morning, my vet telephoned me (Ms Vet adopted Lurcher No. 2's littermate so we're kind of family). Now you'd certainly expect some sympathy from your vet wouldn't you? Trying to hold back the laughter, she said:

"I know we recommend a balanced raw-food diet Angela, but it really should be dead first"

*Sighs*

Other things that have made this week a week of weeks:

We lost Apollo Gemini Valentine who curled up in his hamster cage and went to sleep forever.

The parents arrived for the weekend. Four people and four hounds in one very small cottage when it's persisting with rain has all the makings of being a very fraught time. But it passed in a pleasant haze of hot tea, the Telegraph General Knowledge crossword and the Sunday Times.

Lily won't get in the car. And I'll leave that saga for the next blog because it's worthy of one all by itself.

That's that then

We finally cleared the flat and handed the keys over today. I was glad to be out of there but OH had a momentary pang The end of a 15 year era.

Lily is here and we're having a few settling in problems which will hopefully pass. She is not used to being with other dogs and keeps nailing The Lurchers to the floor for no apparent reason. But, she has been uprooted from the only home she has known for almost 9 years and where she has been an only dog so it's not surprising she is feeling somewhat out of sorts. She's nervous and scared and reacting accordingly. The Lurchers are giving her a wide berth and avoiding her at all possible cost. We'll give it some time to see how she adjusts and take it from there. I really do hope we can work through these problems as I would hate for her to have to go through this all over again, but if we still have three miserable dogs in a few months time we might have to rethink.

Picture will follow once Blogger lets me upload them!

What could I say?

Or more to the point, what could OH say?

Please say hello to Lily.

















Lily is coming to stay with us as a foster dog for Greyhound Gap. I rather suspect we have joined the Failed Fosterer's Club before she even arrives. In which case, please say hello to Lily, from here on in known as Lurcher No.3!

As it happens.......

....it wasn't a problem with the washing machine. It was a problem with the operator. Ahem.

You see, the other night, our water pressure dropped quite dramatically just as the washing machine was about to go into its rinse and spin cycle. This resulted in the machine having a minor hissy fit and flashing all its lights at me. Once the pressure came back later that evening, I turned the dial to a rinse and spin cycle to finish off the wash. You can see where this is going can't you? You see, the dial looked like it was pointing to the normal wash cycle that I use, when it fact, it was still pointing to the rinse and spin cycle, which just happens to be directly opposite the normal cycle.

Yes, Togdom strikes again.

In other news, back to the Royal Marsden for another check-up this morning. They were quite happy that I had increased my Thyroxin dosage back to where it was before they dropped it two months ago. They accepted without argument that, despite what the blood tests showed, I felt like crap. Which was very good of them and did surprise me a bit!

More tests loom though. This "illness", for want of a better word, does make one more susceptible to osteoporosis so I have to have a bone scan to make sure everything is OK with my bones.

Oh dear

Today I blew up my keyboard by spilling coffee all over it. It was fine for a while then the bottom row of keys stopped working. It took a while for the circuits to go into caffeine overload.

Tonight my washing machine seems to think that it is not necessary to actually wash the clothes before going into the rinse cycle.

I've just switched on the dishwasher......my breathe is bated.

ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

Why are people so f**king stupid today!?

Freecycle Ups and Downs

I like Freecycle. At least, today I like Freecycle. Last week I didn't like Freecycle very much at all.

I like Freecycle today because I have just been to pick up a lawn-mower from a lovely lady who lives just down the road. It's apparently four years old but it looks brand-spanking new. Huzzah!

I didn't like Freecycle last week because I seemed to choose nearly all the wrong people to give the items to. It went something like this:

Mini hi-fi - lovely single mum with autistic daughter turned up to collect. A bit late but she at least had the courtesy to ring and let me know. So far so good.

Sony Stereo system & Double ring gas camping stove - two items, lots of interest but one chap wanted them both so I went with him. I had specified that they must be collected on the Sunday in the ad because we were clearing out the flat and would be there to hand them over. Not a problem he said. Then he e-mailed to say he would be there in the evening so I packed them up and left them outside the door for him. Monday morning, another e-mail to say he would now be there Monday evening. Monday evening, another e-mail to say he would be there Tuesday. By Wednesday I gave up. Re-advertised the stereo and contacted another chap who had been very keen on the stove and arrived to pick it up on Thursday morning as arranged.

Sony Stereo System take 2 - a lady who'd missed out the first time contacted me again and we arranged for her to pick it up on Thursday evening. No show. She rang on Friday to say she hadn't been able to make it and OH told her it would be there until 10am on Saturday morning. By 2pm on Saturday no sign of her.

Scanner - a lady arranged to pick this up on Wednesday evening. On Thursday I had an e-mail to say her brother was in the area and would pick it up for her. No-show. I e-mailed her and she promised it would be picked up Friday. By Saturday still no sign.

Printer - picked up as agreed on Thursday evening. Hoo bloody ray.

I was almost on the point of giving up on Freecycle completely but there are one or two people do restore your faith in the system. A local group wanted items for a fund-raising Spring Fayre. I offered them 10 boxes of books and five boxes of bric a brac and they turned up on Saturday afternoon and took the lot. Including the scanner and stereo that still hadn't been collected.

But now I have my lawn-mower I'm a very happy bunny. *sighs*

I'm NOT a girlie. Honest!

Yesterday I went to Ikea. We needed a TV table with a shelf underneath for the video and DVD. Shouldn't have been too much of a problem, even at Ikea. It had to be a certain depth as there isn't much room in the lounge. I knew the maximum depth it could be and after ruling out my first choice because it was too big, settled on a coffee table which would do the job instead.

The first problem came at the check-out. The Beech finish I had chosen was priced up in the showrooms at £29.90 but it rang up as £39.90 at the till. 20 minutes later and dash round the store with a supervisor revealed that that was a promotional price that should have finished last week and no-one had changed the price labels. Well, I know my rights and, fortunately, so did the supervisor and she agreed that they had to sell it to me at the reduced price.

Then came the second problem. Went to pay for everything and my debit card was declined. Three times. I was incensed. I knew there was more than enough money in my account to pay for it. Fortunately they took cheques. Several phone calls to my bank when I got home revealed why it was declined. Although my on-line statement showed sufficient funds, the two cheques I paid in recently hadn't cleared. So although I appeared to have lots of money, I didn't actually have very much at all. After having a bank account for nearly 30 years, you'd have thought I would have twigged that wouldn't you? I really do wish they wouldn't show the funds as being available when they're not.

So, fast forward to this morning. I was awake early so decided I'd start assembling the table. Everything was going well until OH decided to get up and start overseeing what I was doing.

"You need to put that bit in first"

"No, I don't"

"Yes you do. It says so in the instructions"

"No it doesn't. It says you have to put this bit in first, then that bit"

"Oh, I suppose it does. But it would be easier if you put that bit before this bit"

"Do you want to do this? No? Then shut up and let me get on with it."

Because I'm not a girlie. I can handle a screw driver and a few screws and wooden dowels and it really isn't that difficult. First point to me then.

"Ummmmm" says OH. "Is that the size of it?"

"Yes"

"It's too big"

I sit back and look at it and had to concede he had a point. I get out the tape measure (because I'm not a girlie and I can handle one of those too) and measure the table and wander into the lounge to measure the space it's to fit in.

Ah.

So concerned was I with the depth that I failed to take into account the width. It's too big. I swore. A lot. Second and fairly important point to OH then.

I'm not a girlie. Really I'm not. I just seem to have had a momentary lapse.

Animal!?

This morning I've been down to the Royal Marsden Hospital for my regular post-cancer blood test.

Walking out of the car park towards the hospital I was passed by a silver Mercedes sports car driven by a 60-something, silver-haired, fake-tanned man. That in itself is worthy of a chuckle, but even more chuckle-inducing was the number plate. I haven't quite worked out what the letters actually were but they were manipulated so the number plate read "ANIMAL". How sad, I thought, laughing to myself, that this man still thinks he has something to prove at his age.

Then he followed me into the waiting room, clutching his blood test forms. I have no idea if he has cancer, has had cancer or is going through the ordeal of waiting to find out if he does have cancer. Whichever, I suddenly realised that, you know, what the hell? If he does have this illness looming over him, why the hell shouldn't he go out in a blaze of sports cars and naff number plates? Who am I to judge anyone dealing with cancer in whatever way works for them?

Books and covers spring to mind.

An update

I keep forgetting to mention that just over a month ago, I joined Weight Watchers. I am not grossly overweight but overweight enough for me to feel uncomfortable. My problem is finding the motivation to actually give up th things I know I shouldn't be eating so Weight Watchers seemed an ideal solution. I hoped that knowing I would have to weigh-in every week would focus my mind. And so it has proved. In four weeks I have lost 8.5lb and feel amazingly better already, just another 7lb to go and I reach my target weight.

The final push to move all our stuff from the flat to the cottage has begun in earnest. Our landlord has been great and we have no deadline to be out of the flat so we can take our time but it seems silly to continue paying rent unnecessarily and we are aiming to be out by the end of April. So on Tuesday evening, a colleague who doubles as a man with a van in his spare time is coming to help us move the big items and today we have been clearing out 13 years of accumulated stuff. We have three piles: Keep, Jumble Sale and Complete and Utter Rubbish. Luckily our local church hall has a jumble sale on 28th April and they are not going to know what's hit them when we arrive with two car fulls of boxes for them! If we were of a mind, I'm sure we could be a jumble sale all of our own.

I thought the hardest part would be sorting out the some 2000 books we have. I collect books like they are going out of fashion and as we had the space for them, it wasn't a problem. Unfortunately we don't have that space anymore so some of them had to go. But it's proved easier than I thought and I reckon at least half the books have been boxed up for the jumble sale. There are less coming to the cottage than I anticipated so I will have at least some room to go out and buy more. Huzzah!

Visual DNA

A few people have done this so thought I'd join in. And I'm too brain dead to think of anything else to write so lazy blog it is.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Enough already!!

I didn't sleep well last night. Having had four days off work and knowing that I had a manic schedule in the office today, my mind was working overtime at 4am this morning and positively refused to let me get back to sleep.

Being overtired has not prepared me well for what is going on at the office today. We are having building work done and they are now preparing the ground outside for new cobbled paving. Which means breaking up the concrete with a pneumatic drill and a mini-digger to scoop it all up. All of it within 10ft of my office window.

I'm not sure how much more I can stand.

Today I sang with a Legend

At least, the legend sang, when he knew the words, I just mumbled along singing in the way that only a person who cannot hold a tune in a bucket can sing when in public.......under one's breath. And there were a lot of other people there too. But, technically, I did sing alongside, if not actually with a legend.

Today was Steven's funeral. For someone who alleged that he didn't have many friends, the small crematorium was full and people were standing outside. It is difficult not to be trite when talking of a funeral, so I won't try. It was a lovely service, even if the vicar did insist on calling him Steve when he hated being called that. We saw a lot of people that we hadn't seem for many years - as it ever is at funerals. Funerals remind us of those loved ones we have lost and perhaps several tears are shed for them as well as the person we are there to mourn. Funerals also put us in mind of our own mortality, quickly forgotten once you drive away from the service.

The reading was from a Joyce Grenfell passage, perhaps not an uncommon one for a funeral but poignant nonetheless:

If I should go before the rest of you Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone, Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice But be the usual selves that I have known. Weep if you must, Parting is hell, But life goes on, So sing as well.

Oh, you want to know who the legend was? Dave Gilmour. Steven would have been in fits of laughter at how starstruck I was. A fitting way, then, to say goodbye.

Just by coincidence

Stu wrote an interesting blog last week about the fact that one in three adult Americans believe in creationism rather than evolution.

By sheer coincidence there was an article in Saturday's Telegraph magazine on almost the exact same subject. The article, however, focused on the rapid increase in home-schooling by American parents because of what is taught in science classes when children are about 13....evolution. The American religious Right are, according to the article, "increasingly turning to home-schooling, lest their children be exposed to the evils of sex, drugs or – heaven forbid – Darwin". Almost 70% of home-schoolers in Texas are apparently motivated by religious reasons.

This was a fascinating article and there were a few comments from interviewees that had my jaw dropping.

For example, in one household, TV for the children was strictly monitored: The Simpsons are not allowed - "too disrespectful"; nor Harry Potter - 'the Lord is in charge of your life, and in Harry Potter the characters are interested in gaining power for themselves'. Eh? And this comment related to dating had me falling about laughing until it hit me that people do really think like this and that laughing was probably not really an appropriate reaction on my part.... 'We want them to court, not date,' David says. 'Thomas will be ready to court when he is able to support a wife, and if he can't support a wife, he's not ready to look.'

'We don't want people teaching our children that they come from monkeys,' says one parent, "What happens in biology classrooms is 'a lie'". She firmly believes that the world is only 6,000 years old and that, consequently, man and dinosaurs (created on Day Six, along with Adam and Eve) once lived together quite happily.....which would go some way to proving Stu's thought that Americans don't believe in evolution because they can't imagine a timespan long enough.

And the creationist have an answer for everything. One parent pointed out that it is Noah's flood that is responsible for the existence of fossils. "And as for the vexing question of how Noah got a brachiosaurus, an animal that could have weighed up to 33 tons and eaten 3,000lb of green plants a day on to the Ark – 'He took the young ones. That would make the most sense.'"

I don't have a science background, but my background is farming and if anything can show you how evolution works, farming is it. Perhaps the fact that I occasionally hover around agnosticism but then fall firmly on the side of atheism makes it difficult for me to understand where these people are coming from. There was a time I would have said they were complete fruitloops but, perhaps because age makes one more tolerant, I find myself intrigued by their stories, albeit not to the extent of shaking my beliefs, and amazed at what a diverse lot of people there are inhabiting this world. I'm not entirely sure who is the more naive. Them or me.

The whole article is here.

Warming to the theme

Thank you for your sympathies and helpful comments and I'm really sorry to keep harping on about my medical problems but things get quite interesting when you start digging deeper - if you pardon the pun - for information. And no, Stu, I am not getting passionate about the subject of haemorrhoids, but perhaps passionate about the state of my body. Yes, that sounds much better!

Anyway, apparently, you have an increased risk of getting piles if you:

• strain to empty your bowels when constipated - nope, not been a problem

• have chronic diarrhoea - ditto, not had that problem either

• Anal sex – NO NO NO! With all due respect to those that do, it’s not for me!

• are pregnant - as the weight of the fetus on your abdomen and the increased blood flow, as well as the effect of hormones on the blood vessels, can increase pressure - DEFNITELY not had that problem!

• have a family history of piles - piles can run in families and are potentially hereditary, perhaps because of weak veins in the anal area - Is that so? No-one else in my family has ever had piles as far as I'm aware. At least, it's never been mentioned and, OK, it's not necesarily a subject you bring up over Sunday lunch, I'm sure I would have heard an inkling if someone had been suffering.

• have varicose veins - many people with these also develop piles, although piles are not varicose veins - "varicose veins of the bum" is how my doctor described them but no, I don’t have varicose veins but the way things seem to be going it looks like it might not be long before I get them as well.

• have cancer or growths in the pelvis or bowel, which may exert pressure in a similar way to a pregnancy – pauses……….now there’s a good reason for not reading about medical problems on the internet. Not worried now. Not worried at all. *whimpers*

Andre mentioned diet, but I do eat well. Plenty of fruit and veg, brown rice and al that other "do you good" food and, as I'm on a diet at the moment, no pigging out on snacks and convenience foods either. Jut good allround healthy stuff in my diet.

And in case you believed that old wives' tale, heamorrhoids are not caused by sitting on cold hard surfaces, prolonged standing or sedentary work. So there.

It didn't work

Lying down with my legs elevated and applying ice, that is. It didn't work at all. Doctors can be so rubbish with their suggestions so I shall open this up to you all for your suggestions. Apparently half the UK population has suffered from piles (there, I've said it) at some point in their lives, so someone out there reading this blog must have a good suggestion for dealing with them? Please?

It's very uncomfortable and it's all very well the doctor saying that ice will shrink them so you can pop them back in but it doesn't work. If you do manage to pop them back in they very soon, under pressure from natural forces, pop back out again.

So once you've stopped laughing, please help!

Tonight's activities

Tonight's activities involve lying down, with my legs elevated and putting ice where no sane person should ever have to put ice.

And don't think I'm about to tell you why, because I'm not.

Disappearing tricks and operations

Lurcher No.1 has had me with my heart in my mouth twice today.

Firstly, she pulled a disappearing trick on our morning walk. She's too damn clever by half this dog and, if she sees me taking a particular path, she'll sometimes take either a parallel path or cut diagonally across and meet me further down the path I'm on. This morning she was right behind me and, when my attention was on Lurcher No. 2 and some labradors up ahead (he doesn't like labradors much and has a tendency to launch himself at them), took herself off through the woods to meet me further on down the path. But I didn't see her go and went from having a lovely walk to flat out panic in about 60 seconds when she didn't respond to my call. After 10 minutes and still no sign of her, I hysterically called OH to come and help me find her.

Fortunately I met another dog walker coming up the path who had seen her further down in the woods where she was completely unfazed and was apparently just carrying on enjoying her walk! 10 minutes later she decided she didn't want to be on her own anymore and came running back to my frantic calls wondering what all the fuss was about.

As my mate Lisa had to point out to me, it was all my fault because Lurcher No. 1 wasn't lost at all, she knew exactly where she was going and if I'd just stuck to my planned walk, there wouldn't have been a problem. Lisa's such a good pal!

The second reason for worry was that Lurcher No.1 had to go into the vet for an operation this morning. If you have dogs, or any pets, with perhaps the exception of goldfish, you'll know that having them go under a general anaesthetic is always worrying. She had to have a small lump removed from her neck which we think is just a histio cytoma, because the gals at Greyhound Gap know these things, whereas my vet wasn't diagnosing anything until the lump was off and biopsies done.

At 1pm came the usual phone call "She's fine but could you come and get her, PLEASE!!?" As soon as she comes round she starts rooing and barking, disturbing all the other patients in recovery and driving them generally round the wall! So she's home now and lying on her bed gently whimpering and feeling sorry for herself. She really doesn't do poorly terribly well.

Memememe!

Tagged by Dakota (sorry it's taken me a while to get to it!)

A- Available or Single? – Ummm...neither actually!
B- Best Friends? – Lots but Niki, Ali and Ginny immediately spring to mind.
C- Cake or Pie? – Pie
D- Drink of Choice? – Water, coffee or herbal tea
E- Essential item? – PC
F- Favourite Colour? – Black
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? – Neither
H- Hometown? – Born in Cardiff, South Wales. Live in London
I- Indulgence? – Hmmm......sleeping in
J- January or February? – January, my birthday!
K- Kids and Names? – None of those!
L- Life is incomplete without? – Living
M- Marriage Date? – No way not never
N- Number of Siblings? – Two younger step-brothers
O- Oranges or Apples? – Oranges
P- Phobias/Fears? – Ladders
Q- Favourite Quote? – A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most
R- Reasons to smile? – The sun is shining!
S- Season? – Assuming this means a favourite one....Autumn
T- Tag 3 People? – Nah, go ahead and do it if you feel like it!
U- Unknown Fact About Me? – If I told you it wouldn't be unknown anymore would it!?
V- Vegetable You Hate? – Broad beans
W- Worst Habit? – Thinking I know the right way to do everything when I don't.
X- X-rays You've Had? – Dental and chest
Y- Your Favourite Foods? – Thai, Chinese
Z- Zodiac? – Aquarius