Warming to the theme

Thank you for your sympathies and helpful comments and I'm really sorry to keep harping on about my medical problems but things get quite interesting when you start digging deeper - if you pardon the pun - for information. And no, Stu, I am not getting passionate about the subject of haemorrhoids, but perhaps passionate about the state of my body. Yes, that sounds much better!

Anyway, apparently, you have an increased risk of getting piles if you:

• strain to empty your bowels when constipated - nope, not been a problem

• have chronic diarrhoea - ditto, not had that problem either

• Anal sex – NO NO NO! With all due respect to those that do, it’s not for me!

• are pregnant - as the weight of the fetus on your abdomen and the increased blood flow, as well as the effect of hormones on the blood vessels, can increase pressure - DEFNITELY not had that problem!

• have a family history of piles - piles can run in families and are potentially hereditary, perhaps because of weak veins in the anal area - Is that so? No-one else in my family has ever had piles as far as I'm aware. At least, it's never been mentioned and, OK, it's not necesarily a subject you bring up over Sunday lunch, I'm sure I would have heard an inkling if someone had been suffering.

• have varicose veins - many people with these also develop piles, although piles are not varicose veins - "varicose veins of the bum" is how my doctor described them but no, I don’t have varicose veins but the way things seem to be going it looks like it might not be long before I get them as well.

• have cancer or growths in the pelvis or bowel, which may exert pressure in a similar way to a pregnancy – pauses……….now there’s a good reason for not reading about medical problems on the internet. Not worried now. Not worried at all. *whimpers*

Andre mentioned diet, but I do eat well. Plenty of fruit and veg, brown rice and al that other "do you good" food and, as I'm on a diet at the moment, no pigging out on snacks and convenience foods either. Jut good allround healthy stuff in my diet.

And in case you believed that old wives' tale, heamorrhoids are not caused by sitting on cold hard surfaces, prolonged standing or sedentary work. So there.