Cop out

I do feel that I've been copping out on the old blog writing over the last week or so and either not writing one or taking an easy option.

There are several reasons for this...one, I seem to be constantly tired at the moment and find it difficult enough to focus in work let alone on anything that requires thought when I get home. Secondly, I've been somewhat down in the doldrums of late and didn't want to dump that on anyone who happened to be passing by and reading my blog. Which, thinking about it, I suppose that's what blogs are for, letting it all out but I've been fearful that if I let one thing out the whole wall is likely to collapse and I'd find myself drowning in emotions I'm really not sure I can cope with. It's easier to keep the brick wall intact and not feel anything.

It's not even as if I'm going through any sort of crisis. Most of my life is sweet and all is well. It's just that lack of concentration and my inability to focus is leading to procrastination which means I'm getting behind on things that need doing and I feel terribly guilty about it. And if there's one emotion I hate feeling, guilt is at the top of the list. I just can't seem to make myself do anything about it.

Reading this back, it strikes me that all this is indicative that my thyroxin levels might be a bit up the spout. Mayhap a visit to the doc is in order. There, something useful has come out of blogging!

Oh and further to my recent blog about unreceived e-bay purchases, I received an e-mail from the offending seller this morning apologising for the delay and explaining it was due to the loss of their son and everything else, not unnaturally, took a back seat. Which made me feel a bit of a heel for launching a complaint against them. But then when I checked their recent feedback, over the three weeks since I purchased the item, they have bought or sold 15 other items. I can't help but feel a little suspicious, and that makes me feel even more of a heel.