Grampa has been rushed to hospital again this morning. His lungs are so crap and his heart is enlarged and all the drugs they've had him on are having an adverse effect on everything else. After his last hospital stay he came home fighting fit and feeling better than ever so for this to happen again is devastating. It was touch and go this morning he was struggling so hard to get his breath. Two doctors have told Mum that there is nothing more they can do for him and to prepare for the worst. His hospital stays are getting more and more frequent and his condition worse every time.

Living so far away and only speaking to him on the phone every week hasn't prepared me for this. He always sounds so well, apart from the wheezing. He's out and about doing his shopping and shopping for his "old ladies" as he calls them, who make him cakes in return. He still drives himself about and potters inthe garden and his greenhouse, living an active life.

I don't want to think about life without my Grampa in it. He's been my rock all my life and I don't want him to go.