Expensive dogs

Greyhound No.1 very nearly cost me a lot of money last night.

I had to take Lurcher No.2 to the vet last night to have his annual vaccinations. I don't usually like to leave the hounds of an evening when I've been at work all day (although I do come home at lunchtime) but I booked a late appointment and the hounds had a nice long walk, some chill out time and dinner before Lurcher No.2 and I had to leave.

All three are used to being left at home, either all three or a combination of any two of them. None of them are chewers but Greyhound No.1 will have a go at paper things if they are left lying around and he's in the mood - I think it's happened about three times since he's been with us. So off I went with nary a thought....

An hour later I got home. I wandered into the bedroom and started clearing up - the one thing Greyhound No.1 does do is unmake the bed so there are usually pillows and my jimjams all over the place.

Then you know when you suddenly stop because your brain registers that there is something there that shouldn't be there?

And you know that feeling after a split second when your brain registers what that something is? And your stomach sinks to your boots?

Strewn around my bedroom were bank notes. £500 worth of bank notes to be exact. Greyhound No.1 had found the roll of banknotes from last Saturday's fundraiser which was waiting for me to bank. How he found it when it was hidden away I will never know but find it he did.

I nearly passed out on the spot.

Fortunately he hasn't eaten any and it's all still there. Most of it is intact and what isn't, isn't in too many pieces.

Socks

You know that you really, really need to get a life when the highlight of your day is the fact that you have brand new socks to put on in the morning.

Socks are the bane of my life, and something of an obsession. I have to have comfortable, soft socks. They also have to be thick enough to wear with my boots. And I also have to have a thin pair of cotton socks to wear underneath the thick socks. Don't ask. I don't know why either. It's a habit I got into a few years ago when the then thick socks I owned rubbed my feet and it's stayed with me ever since.

The problem I've had over the last few months is that my socks have been disappearing. I don't have the usual problem of them disappearing into the unknown wastes of the washing machine never to be seen again. They come out of the washing machine just fine with the exact number of pairs that I put in there. No, my socks disappear somewhere between the wash basket and washing machine or between the washing line or airer and my sock draw. The loss of my socks has become annoying. WHERE the f**k do they go?

Once Himself left, I seemed to be reduced to any number of pairs of very worn, thin cotton socks, and my thick socks? Gone. Only two pairs remained, and they were getting very thin at the heel. I can't believe he would have taken my socks. He had about 50 trillion pairs of his own so he wouldn't have needed to take mine as well.

So Tuesday evening I spent more money than I believed could possibly be spent on new socks. Lots of nice thick wooly ones and lovely soft thin cotton ones. My sock draw is replete and my obsession sated.

I suppose there are worse things in life to be obsessive about.

AND PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO SIGN UP FOR FUN MONDAY WITH MY BLOG BUDDY SARAH!

OK - the photographs from Saturday

I didn't take my camera to the bash on Saturday night so I've pinched these from people who did! And no, I was not one of the baying women running across the car park after the poor lad's underpants! I was sitting there open-mouthed in astonishment!

And so it starts!

Making a run for it!

Oh no!!

That's me on the right!

Hospital visits

I had my annual check-up with the Consultant who operated on me for the Thyroid cancer today.

The good news is everything is fine.

As it's been six years since my first operation and five and a half years since the second, I had hoped he would finally discharge me today. I have exactly the same tests carried out at the Royal Marsden Cancer hospital, who did the last part of my treatment, and it seems a bit silly for me to still be seeing both of them after being clear for all this time.

But no. Because Thyroid cancer is still a very rare cancer, the medical world appears to be focusing its attention on it and they are going to continue to monitor patients for as long as they think necessary. They feel that the more information they can gather, the better they can treat patients in the future. Because of this, I will also start having annual ultrasound scans from next year.

It costs me one afternoon for blood tests, another for the scan, and another for the appointment. Once a year. If it can help anyone who gets this form of cancer in the future, I think it's a very small price for me to pay.

Fun Monday. Fail.

I am so disappointed that once again I am bowing out of Fun Monday. I was really looking forward to this one.

This week's assignment, should you be more organised than I, is being hosted by iPost over at Nine Acres, and it's all about doodling!

So my excuse this week? Well, a doodle is not something you can just throw together. Doodling is an art form and you have to do it without thinking about it. It comes from your sub-conscious. Which is why I can't throw together a post now. Last week at work was completely mental. I had Board papers to get out and it most of the papers I needed were going back and forth for final corrections and well, you know how it can get. So time on the telephone, when I would usually doodle, was spent doing that more manic thing.....twisting a pen round and round my fingers.

So I apologise to iPost and I am going to try to do this anyway and post it later in the week.

If......

If I had a single functioning brain cell left in my head then I would write you a wonderfully funny blog post about the weekend. I would tell you about the brave (actually, very drunk) men who volunteered to being stripped naked to raise money for charity. And I'd particularly tell you about the one that ended up being chased across the car park by a hoard of baying women who only wanted one thing....his underpants. And they got them!

Unfortunately I don't have a single functioning brain cell left in my head.

It was a hell of a weekend!

Gone away.

The hounds and I are off to stay with friends for the weekend.

Have a good one and see you tomorrow!

Mmmmphh

Sentence.

Cannot string one together.

So tired.

So stressed.

So arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The Lurcher searches

After reading Robinella's post this morning, I went to have a look at the searches that have brought people to my blog. This is a selection of them:

lurchers small regular meals day - every day is a small regular meals day in our house

useless information about cows - oh yeah, there's a lot of that around here, but it's usually more bull than cow

how long does a lurcher live - I wish they lived forever

l love my lurcher - Oh me too!

how to order a pampered chef deviled egg holder - OK, I don't but I know someone who does!

done deal whippets - it's always a done deal with Whippets. You have no say in the matter.

james rollins "black order" free download - Hey, nothing's for free around here.

King Charles Spaniel "number of teeth" - Umm..OK, same as every other dog I expect.

poems for skiving of work - How does a poem help you skive off work?

duck "morning george" farmer court - old joke. Very old joke.

Formicophilia photographs - Oh no, not that old chestnut. One last time folks......WE DON'T DO THAT HERE, OK?

Witty Wednesday

Here are some genuine examples of imperfect, but amusing, English found around the world.

At a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Cocktail lounge , Norway :

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's office, Rome :

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco :

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo :

WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school:

NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On a poster in New York :

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:

DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Indian maternity ward:

NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Bangkok temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel room notice, Thailand :

PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, Italy :

THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel lobby, Romania :

THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel , Yugoslavia :

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel , Japan :

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Taken from a menu, Poland :

SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong :

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

In an East African newspaper:

A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel, Vienna :

IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich :

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome :

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Tourist agency, former Czechoslovakia :

TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong :

GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn:

SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

One of those "way too much information" posts

Let's put a few warnings in place here:

We're talking periods and sanitary products here so, men, unless you are REALLY, and I mean REALLY in touch with your feminine side, you may want to click away now. Ditto any women who don't want/need/care to read about them.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

OK......

Anyone heard of a Mooncup?

I'm not quite sure what planet I've been living on for the last few years but until I read an article in a magazine on Sunday, I had never heard of a mooncup. As far as I was concerned you had three basic options for dealing with mentural flow: tampons, pads, or nothing (apparently that's how some people deal with them). Apparently not so, there are also mooncups. I can't decide if the word makes me want to gross out or think of cup cakes.

So, what is it? The Mooncup is a reusable menstrual cup around two inches long and made from soft silicone rubber. It is worn internally like a tampon but collects menstrual fluid rather than absorbing. Unlike tampons the Mooncup is not a disposable product, so you only need to buy one. I'm guessing you can figure out how it works and what you need to do with it.

Getting that ewwww feeling yet?

Apparently they are popular with the ethically minded because of their environmental benefits. Neither do they contain bleaches, deodorisers or absorbency gels. It does not interfere with your "healthy vaginal environment", nor has it been associated with toxic shock syndrome.

I am 100% getting the benefits of using one of these. What I'm not entirely comfortable with is the practicalities of using one. £20 is a lot to spend to just try something out but I am tempted. Most of the testaments I've read are positive but does anyone out there in blogland use one? I'd be interested in your thoughts and feedback.

No Fun Monday today

Mommy Wizdom is the hostess for this week if you want to join in!

Unfortunately, this week's assignment calls for creativity and the writing of a short story. Not something I have ever been good at, hence the no-show from me this week.

I love Fun Monday and it's great that it is spreading around the Blogosphere. So many people participate from all around the globe and from all walks of life. Which is why I yearn for the return of the meme/show and tell type of Fun Monday assignment, which is what it started out as of course. It gives us all such a window into the lives of so many different people.

But I guess there are only so many things we can meme/show and tell and so many have already been done. But there must be some more ideas out there!

**Having just re-read this post, I want to make clear that this is not a dig or a criticism at anyone. The diversity of Fun Monday is what keeps it going and I know a lot of people in my Blog circle are extremely creative and talented and just love things like this. I'm just saying.....

Investment tips for 2008 & 2009

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner, Cracker. (you need to think about that one!)

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP. (snorting with laughter at that one!)

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name: Titty Titty Bang Bang (mwhahahahaa!)

And finally...

10. Mother's Jams & Jellies and Smucker's Jams & Jellies will unite to be: Mother Smucker's

Things that REALLY annoy me - Part 1

Stupid ignorant inconsiderate f**kwits who let their dogs crap on the grass path leading to my gate and don't clear it up so I get the pleasure of stepping in it in the dark and walking it into my house. People like you really make me mad.

People who deliberately lie to you for the sake of £5.

People who want to help themselves and think "how useful" when it's free, but walk away in disgust at the thought of having to pay £1. Hey people, we're a charity here!

Other than that, my day goes well. How's yours!?

Am still.....

....lurgified. Although I had to drag myself out of bed this morning to attend an emergency Board meeting. I really hope the Vice-Chairman is OK as he is due to go into hospital on Sunday and I'm sure he didn't need me sniffling, coughing and sneezing next to him.

Did I buy the TV? Oh of course I did. Long-standing readers will know that rarely do I seriously contemplate buying something and then not buy it! What actually decided me was waking up with the lurgy on Wednesday morning. Knowing I'd probably be spending the best part of my two days off curled up in bed was the best incentive. I do agree that, most of the time, the bedroom should be for only two things but given that I live on my own now, I'll be doing a lot of one and there isn't a snowball's chance in hell of me doing much of the other for while. I'll leave you to work out which is which!

I have.....

.....the lurgy. Streaming nose, sore throat and aching all over.

Witty Wednesday

These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________ _______________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WI TNESS: Are you shittin' me?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you for real? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________
And the best for last:


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

An extravagance or not?

I'm thinking about buying myself another small TV for the bedroom.

I'm thinking that there are some nights, especially now winter is coming, when it would be nice to curl up in bed with the Hounds around me and doze in front of the TV.

The problem is that I am having trouble justifying it to myself. There's only me here and I have a perfectly good TV in the lounge. A lounge with a log fire and a comfy sofa. So why do I need a TV for the bedroom as well?

Fun Monday - The Closet Edition

Our host for Fun Monday this week is Cassie, the lovely daughter of Alison over at RDHMom and this is our assignment:

I want to see the inside of your closet!! I want to see if your closet is as messy as mine!!! You can't organize it before you take the picture!!

Closets. Hmmmm....I am seriously lacking in the closet department. Not that I don't have anything to fill a closet, I do. Lots in fact! It's just that I don't have much in the way of actual closet space. Most of you have seen pictures of my bedroom showing the bed, what you haven't seen is the bedroom from the other side, that is, what I see when I'm lying in bed. Well, this is it.


As you can see, closet space is lacking. To the right I have a single wardrobe (as we call them over here in the UK), in the middle is a chest of drawers and, in the only other possible place for storage, I have two full shelves of wicker baskets holding everything else.

So, let's get up close and personal.

In the baskets are evening clothes, winter woolies and all other clothes that aren't worn too often. Also in the baskets is bed linen, towels and throws. The pink box contains my long boots. The other pair of long boots are, for some reason, not on the shelf but hiding behind my bedside cabinet. I also need a step-ladder to get to the top shelf.

Inside the wardrobe: Shirts, smart trousers and jackets and skirts

The shoes I don't wear very often (all the others are in the hall cupboard)



The chest of drawers (I've not photographed my underwear drawers. You really don't need to see those do you!?)

T-shirts

More t-shirts and jimjams!

Jeans & Trousers

More jeans and trousers and sweatshirts!

Now head over to RDHMom to see who else is taking part in Cassie's Fun Monday!

Stuck record

I'm really sorry to keep going on about life post-Himself, you must all be bored to tears by now. It's just that adapting to the single-having-to-do-everything-myself way of life is such a major part of who I am right now that blogging about it seems to be the obvious thing to do. But do feel free to zone out for a while!

In the past, Himself always did the "man" things. It wasn't that I couldn't do them, hell I lived on my own before I met him, but if I tried to do things around the house he would be hovering over my shoulder telling me how I should be doing it and pointing out what I was doing wrong. There's no denying he could turn his hand to most things and do them well, it was how he earned his living after all. I could do these things, but in my own way - and the end result probably wasn't very pretty - but in the end it was just easier to let him get on with it.

So following my success with mowing the lawn yesterday, today I have fixed bolts to the back door, stuck sticky draft excluder stuff (that's a technical term, you know, "stuff") and very nearly bought a drill to fit a lock to the other door. Except I had no idea how expensive drills are. I will think on that one for a while and see if I can get away with borrowing one from work when I need to use one.

On top of that I have dug out all the old tomato and courgette plants, swept the yard, made soup and got a chicken roasting in the oven.

Some days you just rock!

A Eureka moment

I was reminded by one of Rotten Correspondent's posts last week, this one in fact, that mowing the lawn was something I had yet to achieve since Himself's departure.

It was something that he had always done. No reason other than it was just one of those things he did. But with the grass getting to about 5" high, I needed to brace myself and get out there and do it. I've had to put it off all week because the weather has been so piss poor, but today was the day. The sun was shining and I couldn't put it off any longer.

So I dug the mower out from it's hiding space. Where's the power lead? Oh, in the grass cuttings basket thing. Of course it is, why didn't I think of that sooner? Plugged in the lead to the mower and then went to plug it in to the outside plug. Wouldn't reach. How girly is that? Moved the mower....have you ever tried moving a hover mower without the power turned on? It's difficult.

So having mastered to ability to plug the damn thing in, I press the button that says "press here", which seemed a logical thing to do, then I pulled the handle. Nothing happened. OK. I unplugged it, banging my head on the open window as I straightened, and plugged it in to a socket in the shed. Still nothing..

Damn but I am NOT going to be beaten by a lawnmower!

So I resort to reading the manual. Except I can't find it. There was one when I got it (secondhand off Freecycle) but I can't find it now. OK. Wait!! We don't live in this technological age for nothing and, true to form, the intermaweb provided me with a manual. It seems you have to "Press Here" AND pull the handle. It must have been designed by a man.

So, there I am hovering away when two heads pop up over the fence. The Neighbour's (remember him?) daughter (TND) and her friend.

"Can I have a high five".

No, you can't right now, TND, I'm busy. And please don't lean over my fence.

I carry on mowing. TND and friend keep leaning over my fence.

"TND, how would you like it if I stood staring in your bedroom window?"

She got the message and her and friend stopped leaning over my fence and promptly jumped on the trampoline so they could still see into my garden without leaning over the fence. The logic of kids has me absolutely stumped sometimes.

I'm going to have to have words with The Neighbours. I realise she is only 11 years old but she has to be told that my garden is my private space and I have a right to have my privacy respected. She obviously takes after her father....who, I discovered when I was looking after their animals a few weeks ago, has fitted a child's ladder to their fence so that they can lean over my fence.

I was not a happy bunny.

I am qualified

I am now a qualified First Aider.

So if you want to have a heart attack (well, not that you'd want to exactly but if you were going to......), or fall and hit your head, or cut your arm or, or, or...any number of things, I can now do my best to help you survive.

What was interesting was that I thought that First Aid was all about common sense. And so it is. I also thought that what I had been doing up to know was pretty much there or thereabouts, even though I'd never done a course. I mean, we all know what to do with cuts and bruises etc. Except it turns out that what I have been doing, whilst not exactly wrong, wasn't terribly right either. Not in the eyes of the law anyway.

Ho hum.

a few updates

Thank you for all your good thoughts for Lisa. She came home from hospital yesterday but has a long period of recuperation. And typically Lisa, she's been overdoing it already! Lisa.....REST THAT DAMN HAND!!

I have hopefully put a stop to the gossip at work. There's nothing like joining in the gossip-mongering about yourself and having a laugh about it to stop it being fun for everyone else. Once the gossipers realise the gossipped-about knows, it really isn't gossip any more (does anything about that sentence make sense or good English!!?).

I've been on a First Aid course all week. I really do think it could have been so interesting but our instructor is well into his seventies and, although he's a nice chap, he really does have a teaching style all his own. And it's not making sense to any of us. I have my assessment tomorrow and I am very concerned I will fail.

Calm.......stay calm

Today I very nearly lost the plot.

I had expected some gossip surrounding the break-up of my relationship. After all, I work in the equivalent of a very small community where most of us live on-site and no-one escapes the gossip mill. And most of my colleagues are men.

Do I need to tell you that men gossip worse than women? If you didn't know that, then trust me on this, because they do.

Apparently, I waited until Himself had finished all the work on the cottage before throwing him out. OK two things here. Firstly, I didn't "throw him out" - we had a two week separation which, after 5 days, Himself decided to end by announcing he was leaving anyway. Secondly, all major works on the cottage were completed over 18 months ago. Other minor works still need doing!

Then, and this is a classic, I threw Himself out and immediately took in another dog. This little gem definitely came from my next door neighbour because he asked me, in that casual way you ask a question when you want to know something, who my fourth dog was and had I taken another in already. And who was this mysterious fourth dog? Well even you guys know the answer to that.......Millie the Whippet. My parents Whippet who was staying with me whilst they were on holiday.

You see how gossip starts? Nosey friggin' neighbours who can't stop themselves. He talked to Himself when he was here packing and I was out for the day. The Neighbour promptly went to work and started telling his boss all the juicy gossip. Fortunately, I had already briefed his boss....for this very reason, so he could stop gossip in its tracks. That took the wind out of The Neighbour's sails.

How much of this has originated with Himself being careless in what he said to The Neighbour or whether he did it deliberately or whether The Neighbour has added 2 and 2 and come to 45,000, I will never know.

If I hadn't been chatting to a visitor when The Neighbour arrived back at the office this afternoon, I would have let rip. Fortunately it gave me time to calm down and think about the situation. If I lose it, I will end up fanning the gossip flames and making the situation even worse. I just have to accept that it's my turn to be gossip flavour of the month and let it pass.

Of course, none of this has stopped The Neighbour asking me to look after his dog when he and his famly go to the States for Christmas.

Men!!

What's in a name

Found this over at Wendishness's blog and it made me chuckle!

Porn Star name (first pet, first street where you lived): Quella Pantyderi

Rock star name (favourite pet, current car): Hercules 406

Gangsta name (favourite ice cream flavour, favourite type of shoe): Vanilla Boot

Native American name (hair colour, favourite animal, favourite hobby): Brown Dog Photography (*snort* that really rolls off the tongue!)

Soap Opera Name (middle name, city where you were born): Oakley Cardiff

Star Wars name (first 3 letters of last name & first 2 of first name, last 3 letters of middle name): Evaan Ley

Stripper Name (favourite perfume, favourite candy): Chanel Toffee

TV Newsreader name (grandparents first name, any town that starts with the same letter): Molly Monmouth

Spy Name (favourite season, favourite flower): Autumn Daffodil (Spookily the same as Wendish!)

Cartoon name (favourite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing now): Mango Jeans

Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, favourite tree): Raspberry Cedar

Good thoughts needed please

My friend, Lisa, founder of Greyhound Gap, has been admitted to hospital this evening.

Last week, her hand got in the way of Morph's teeth and, whilst it wasn't too bad a bite, Lisa unfortunately has a slightly dodgy immune system and the antibiotics that the hospital have prescribed are not working well-enough. She was still in a lot of pain this afternoon and went back to the hospital. They have decided to admit her and will operate either later this evening or tomorrow morning. They plan to open up the hand and wash out the infection in the tendons.

It sounds really nasty and I am keeping everything crossed it is all straightforward and she's back home quickly.

It's been lovely!

It really has been a lovely weekend. Having The Parents to stay has always been a chore up to now but this weekend has just been wonderful.

We've relaxed, chatted, eaten lots and pottered about. Mum, after two weeks cooped up on a ship (even one the size of the Independence of the Seas) was keen to do something. Anything! So she weeded half of my garden, hung out the laundry and sat for two hours sorting and bagging up the loose coin that I have had hanging around for months!

My step-brother (SB) and his girlfriend (SBG) arrived for Sunday lunch and everyone just chilled and relaxed. The SB and SBG only live about 15 minutes away from me yet we rarely see each other and, like all the other times we've got together, we say we must see each other more often. And we never do. But this time we said it and this time I think we will.

That went better than expected

My parents have been on a cruise for the last two weeks, which is why Millie the Whippet has been staying. And, of course, they have missed all the drama of the last two weeks. I took the decision not to tell them what had happened until they got back. I knew my mother would worry and I didn't want to spoil their holiday.

I was not expecting them until around lunchtime and I was psyching myself up to telling them and it was not a conversation I was looking forward to.

However, on a ship with over 4,000 passengers, there obviously has to be some form of order for disembarkation. 4,000 people trying to get off all at once would be a little chaotic after all. Their disembarkation time was 7.30am. So at 8.30am this morning I received a phone call....

"We're on our way back and we should be with you within half an hour"

Yikes!

"OK, well I need to take the dogs out for a walk so if I'm not here when you get here I won't be far away."

"Won't Himself be there?"

"Umm, ermm....no (silent pause) I'll explain when you get here."

My step-father, it turns out, is more intuitive than I have ever given him credit for. He noticed when we stayed with them for his Birthday party in July that things were not quite as they perhaps might be. So they guessed what had happened and it wasn't really too much of a surprise. They are obviously sorry, they were very fond of Himself, but are fully supportive and understanding of the decision.

And that's a relief.

That's Karma for you

I was so busy reading JoyT's post (and not laughing, no sir that was not me laughing, well, OK, maybe I was laughing a little) that the crackling noise in the background escaped me for a while.

It did its best to penetrate my hysterical laughter (OK, maybe I laughed a lot) and something eventually got through. Nothing to worry about I thought, it's probably just the logs on the woodburner. Except logs on the fire usually spit and don't sound like popcorn popping.

Oh fuck!!

That'll be the rice in the saucepan burning then.

Dinner and one saucepan irretrievably burnt.

Ho hum. That's karma for you.

Today.....

...I have achieved greatness.

I have emptied cupboards and boxes and cleared out the stuff I don't use. I have moved things around into the empty spaces left by Himself's departure. I have vaccuumed everywhere, and I mean everywhere.

There are still gaping holes in the bookshelves, but I have no concerns over filling those.

I have taken down the old thingy-whatsit that hung on the wall in the shower (what are those things called!?) and borrowed some silicon and a silicon gun to fill in the holes. Himself never liked the wood that I chose as a splashback in the kitchen and took great delight in pointing out to me that water was starting to get in to it behind the kitchen sink. You know what? I siliconed that too. If he had done in the first place the water would never have got in......although maybe he did and did such a neat job (which is likely) that I just can't see it. It's not pretty but it doesn't look so bad either.

It's a small step in proving to myself that I can manage on my own, but a step forward nonetheless.

So why do I need an axe?

The toolkit was, I guess, fairly self-explanatory. Doesn't every good self-sufficient, on-her-own woman need a spanner or screw driver or two?

So why do I need an axe? Well, for the logs for my log fire of course! I have visions of a frosty morning, warm breath on the air and me, in my lumberjack shirt, swinging that axe.....

Well, if nothing else, it's a great way to get fit!

I need...

...an axe.

And a toolkit.

Fun Monday - Junk!

Our Fun Monday hostess this week is Rayne at Crunchy Bits and this is our assignment

Almost everyone I know keeps things that others would consider junk. Twist ties, used wrapping paper, etc. What thing or things do you hang on to, and why? Or, if you are one of those super organized and practical people and don't hang on to things like that, do you have a collection that you would like to share with us?

I wouldn't have really called myself a hoarder of junk and, over the years, what with moving and now having a lack of storage space, I don't have that much stuff. Or am I kidding myself!?

What is it with plastic containers!? The most useful things in the world unless you've lost the lids or lost the pots themselves. Given the number of lids I appear to have in my cupboard, I think they are also involved in an intense breeding programme in there.

I don't deliverately save stuff, I just don't always get round to throwing it away. Bit of paper, envelopes, pens that don't work, old jiffy bags, funny birthday cards, bits of string. I know they'll never get used but they just seem to collect in hidden corners and at the back of draws!

I really do need to have a good sort out one of these days!

Another announcement

Seems it's the week for announcements around The Lurchers this week!

Firsty, though, to say I am completely overwhelmed by your comments on yesterday's post would be a gross understatement. To know I have such good friends in cyberland, and that you care about someone you've never even met, has meant more than I can ever tell you. You are all such good people and I words cannot express the gratitude I feel right now. Thank you all, so very much.

Now to the announcement. Brodie the Foster has a new home. Well, actually, it's not a new home at all. Brodie the Foster is now Greyhound No.1 and has found his forever sofa right here with me and The Lurchers.

I have joined that worldwide club of failed fosterers!

Single White Female

You may have ben wondering what all the drama was about earlier this week and the posting on the private blog etc. Well as it's now official I can share it with you.

Himself and I are going our separate ways.

There are many reasons, none of which I want to divulge here, but it's been coming for some time and neither of us can carry on the way we have been.

I can't explain how I feel because I don't really know myself at the moment. A mixture of guilt, relief and trepidation perhaps.

The Lurchers, and of course Brodie, will stay with me. I was concerned that he would want to take Lurcher No.1 with him but he sees that it would be unfair to separate them after all these years.

14 years we have been together and life on my own is going to take some getting used to.

So, how does it look today!?

As all those that commented on my WTF!? Wednesday post agreed I was marginally insane to put a mainly white throw on my bed when I have four dogs here at the moment, and a few of you asked to see what it looks like today, here you go!!



Hah!!

OK, there might be a couple of bits of grass here.....


....and there might be some dog hairs and a smidge of a muddy paw print there....


...but all in all, not so bad!

However, I have to confess that I bottled it a bit and during the day I put one of these over it! (It is actually maroon and not as red as it looks here, so it all matches. I've always wanted to have matching bed linen!)

We remember

WTF!? Wednesday

I usually have three dogs in this house, and I currently have four whilst Millie is staying. They are allowed on the bed. The weather is wet and the garden is muddy.

So I put THIS on my bed.



Have I gone completely bonkers!?

Living with a Whippet

Living with a Whippet is unlike living with any other dog. At least, living with Millie the Whippet is unlike living with any other dog I've lived with!

Patience will know this, female whippets are Princesses. There's no getting away from it, it's just fact.

Whippets have a penchant for sleeping under things. Preferably warm, snuggly blankets. So whichever room we are in, we have to have a warm snuggly blanket with us to wrap her in. If she loses her blanket in the middle of the night, snuggling under my duvet will just about suffice as an alternative. Which is fine, she doesn't take up much room and she gives lovely snuggles. Unfortunately, my parents have spent the last 18 months trying to stop her from doing this because she does disturb their sleep and, it has to be said, she is a very effective hot water bottle. Not so good if, like my mother, you suffer enough with being too hot at night already....

Can they have the same food two meals in a row? No, they can't. They look at the food you have deigned to give them and then they look at you with a "You have to be joking" look of disdain on their faces. They will walk away from the bowl and you, their humble servant, will search the cupboards for some tempting morsel and you will do this because the wide-eyed beseeching look they have perfected will mean that you simply cannot say "eat that or go hungry".

The Lurchers and Brodie the Greyhound are about four times her size. If they dare to sleep on her bed, she will stand and stare them out until they give in and say "OK, OK, you can have your bed back".


Princesses. Spoilt rotten princesses because you cannot resist their tiny but perfectly formed frame and their big brown eyes. And their perfectly timed kisses, designed to melt the hardest of hearts.

And do we love them. Oh yes. We do.

No FM today

My apologies to Woodlandmamma for not partaking in today's Fun Monday. I'm not terribly good at writing things that require imagination plus, life is such that writing the start of a love story was the last thing I needed to be doing.

Can I thank everyone for your incredibly kind comments over the last few days. Some of you know what's going on but I don't want to make it public until it's all sorted. Please don't be offended if you don't have access to my private blog, it's private for a reason, and I will post here once everything is done and dusted.

But rest assured, I'm fine, The Lurchers are fine as are Brodie the Foster and Millie the Whippet, we all just have some adjusting to do.

You are such wonderful people and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your thoughts and kind words.

I think we need a group hug! You in!?

I have a private blog

.....and that is where I have blogged today.

Life......

.....could be about to implode.

Oh, it'll be raining then

Just to dampen my mood even further, today it is absolutely chucking it down with rain. It's so miserable and damp here tonight that we've actually lit the woodburner. In September, It's ridiculous.

However, my mood has been lifted somewhat by two things:

1. I have had a bad neck since I woke up on Monday morning. I wake up feeling like it's been crushed in a vice and the pain spreads down my back and into my head, giving me a full blown migraine on Monday afternoon. The worst of the pain went but it has been lurking and threatening to come back all week. So I booked an appointment with my Bowen practitioner for this morning. If you've not come across Bowen, and you suffer from any form of back/neck/other body part pain, then I can fully recommend it. Having had a bad back for over 20 years, it's the only thing that gives me any relief. My neck is now back to normal and I feel so much better!

2. Millie the Whippet has come to stay for two weeks whilst my parents swan off on a Mediterranean cruise! Piccies tomorrow of the little Princess!

The weekend has started

...well, it has for me anyway. It's that "Thursday is my Saturday, Friday is my Sunday" weekend. Yes, I'm working the weekend.

Since I have a day off work, I am also giving myself a day off from blogging.

Byeeee!

The Lurchers

We haven't had a blog about the Lurchers for ages so I shall remedy that today.

You may remember back in July that Lurcher No.1 had not been very well. She'd had two nasty bouts of throwing up and was obviously in some discomfort. We had repeated visits to the vet and, after blood tests, she was diagnosed with pancreatitis.

Both The Lurchers had been fed on a raw food diet but as this had quite a high fat content, something had to give. I now have Lurcher No.1 on a food called Fish4Dogs. It doesn't come cheap but that's OK because neither is the Hills Presription Diet the vet originally suggested we put her on. Plus it has the bonus of being a natural food with no additives or other crappy stuff in it that's tested on animals. Don't get me wrong, if there had been no alternative I would have put my morals aside for the sake of Lurcher No.1's health, I'm just glad there are alternatives.

So, how is she now and has the change of diet worked? I'll say!

For about the last 18 months I have been saying that she is getting old and that's why she is slowing down and always lagging behind on walks, even though she was only 7 then and 8 now. With the benefit of hindsight, I can see that she has obviously been suffering with this pancreatitis for all that time, at least, suffering enough that she was uncomfortable but not poorly enough that it was making her physically ill. I think that deep down I knew this lethargy couldn't be put down to jsut her reaching middle age but I'd mentioned it to my vet a few times and although we hadn't had bloods done, there was nothing obviously wrong when they poked and prodded her. And short of doing every possible test going, we'd have been searching for a needle in a haystack.

But now? She has, over the last few weeks, gradually started getting fitter and fitter. Firstly by responding positively when Lurcher No.2 wanted to play and then actually initiating play with him - you could see her start running and look back at him saying "chase me, chase me!". And last night? We had been walking through the woods and came out onto the open golf course. Suddenly she just took off and ran flat out in a big circle, just for the sheer joy of it, and then came back to me with the biggest, happiest grin on her face!

And did I shed a tear or two? Quite possibly.

It took a physical manifestation of the illness for us to be able to dignose the problem and a part of me wishes that perhaps we should have done tests earlier, particularly as she was in the right age bracket for pancreatitis. But hindsight is all very well and although I have a certain amount of guilt to deal with, seeing her back to her old self does mitigate that guilt a little. But we were lucky, now that we are aware of the situation and it's under control everything is fine. If we hadn't got it under control another attack could have killed her.

So learn from us, if you think your pet is not right, even if you can't put a finger on why, talk to your vet. Your ramblings may not make sense to you but they may to them, and it may save your pet's life.

I am such a bad Blogger

These last two weeks have been busy and I have to apologise for not spending enough time commenting on Blogs. I promise that I am reading you but just struggling to leave comments as well. At least, my brain can come up with nothing better than platitudes and I hate doing that. I have two days off this week so I will play catch up then.

So, if you haven't deserted me for being so awful yet, here's the story of our recent, partially disastrous, camping trip.

Two cars loaded, yes two cars, we don't travel light you know! Actually, Himself's car was filled with logs for the bonfire and most of the camping gear and mine was packed with The Lurchers (Brodie was in kennels for the weekend, safest option all round), the rest of the camping gear and Himself's mother and all her stuff.

Did I say all the camping gear? We arrived at our camping ground and as we pulled up, I opened the window of the car and asked Himself if he'd remembered to pack the airbed. His face told me the answer and it was an emphatic no. And neither had I. So the Lurchers got their lovely, padded camping dog-beds and we got the bedrolls. Strike 1.

We got the tent up, without argument, and as I unloaded the car I spotted the spare pair of socks I always keep in the boot. Oh shit. The sight of them had struck a chord. Had I remembered to pack any clean underwear? Another emphatic no. Strike 2.

So the rest of the afternoon was spent in a mad dash trying to find somewhere to buy underwear. I rang my friend Ali who only lives 15 minutes away for advice. Oh come here she said, I have some brand new ones you can have. Ali, you are a star and I loves you lots!!

Knicker problem solved, the rest of the afternoon passed relatively calmly. Once night fell, we lit the bonfire and sat around chatting. As I had to be up at 6am to head off to the show I was attending with Greyhound Gap, I turned in for an early night. Jimjams. Did I pack any jimjams. Oh, guess what, another resounding no. Strike 3. One t-shirt and spare socks from the boot later and I was snuggled up in my duvet.

6am my alarm buzzed in my ear and even the Lurchers told me to bugger off, there was no way they were getting up for a pee. I headed for the shower and turned it on. Cold. No, ice bloody cold. Strike 4. I grabbed my gear, jumped in the car and headed for Ali's house where we were all meeting to head off to the show together. She opened the door to be greeted by a dishevelled me pleading for a shower. When you have a friend that will give you their brand new knickers and not be fazed by you standing on their doorstep at 6.30am asking to have a shower, you know you have a very good friend! Ali, I loves you even more!!

Saturday passed and I headed back to the campsite around 8pm. When I got back, Himself asked me if I'd tried to call him. I had, but hadn't been surprised when the phone went to voicemail as the reception there is dire. Umm, he said, I dropped my phone in the fire and it's burnt to a cinder. My first thought was "that was your damn Christmas present" and then shook my head at how unsurprised I was. Strike 5.

Saturday night was more of the same, sat around the bonfire chatting and again I turned in early.

Sunday morning I didn't even bother with the shower, just jumped in the car and headed straight to Ali's. She was at least expecting me this time!

As we left Ali's the thunder rumbled in and the rain started. And it kept raining most of the day. Strike 6. All of us on the stall were miserable and fed up, although the situation was improved by the fact that the mad lurcher and greyhound people turned up in droves. They kept us busy snogging their hounds all day!

When I arrived home on Sunday evening, I was greeted by Himself with his hands strapped in bandages. What on earth have you done I asked. Burnt my hands was the reply. How? Firesurfing. Strike 7. I think the withering look I gave him made him realise he was not going to get much sympathy. Apparently he'd done it on Friday night but he didn't realise the extent of the burns until the skin started blistering on Sunday. Fortunately for him, the burns are not deep and have only blistered the top layer of skin. And, being the cruel woman I am, I've told all the boys at work and they will rib him mercilessly next time they see him.

And he deserves nothing less.

Fun Monday - Where I blog

Our hostess for this week's Fun Monday is Gattina over at Writer's Cramps and this is our assignment:

As I am a very curious person, I just want you to show us a picture of your blogging place ! Your room or bed or whatever space(s) or place(s) you have to write your posts.

Well, this is my dark and dingy blogging corner. This is my office/dining room/library/dumping room. It's at the back of the house and gets very little light, hence dingy. You can see Brodie the Foster just walking into shot, behind him a box of pictures waiting to be framed and, above those, the home of Isis the Hamster. There's books on the shelves (oh yeah, you can see those can't you!) and lots of paperwork all over the place waiting to be dealt with. The blanket on the chair is supposed to be an American saddle blanket - but I'm sure my American friends will quickly correct that if I'm wrong!!